I like giving the blog entries Rocky and Bullwinkle-like titles. As a child, I was always so confused that the episodes would have two titles. Was I supposed to pick one? Would there be a quiz after the episode, and I would have to figure out which title was ‘real’? How was I supposed to know? Both seemed to fit to me! Or, more likely, I didn’t understand the titles at all and neither title made sense…. These were the things I worried about as a child. Life was way easier then. No worries about Pakistan knocking at your door.
My husband and I decided to go to the movies a few weeks back. It was our second time going, and we like to go to a massive movie theatre that puts every single theater in America to shame. We were going to see The Hangover Part II, and to prep myself I rented The Hangover on the night before.
I’m glad I had the movie, because the massive storm would have kept the satellite down, anyway (for those of you confused with my lateness in blog writing, that puts this entry, time-wise, right after those “It is raining” entries).
So I started to watch the movie, ready to sit back and laugh. Except it wasn’t the movie! It was CENSORED. Such a dirty, bad word to Americans. I was so upset. Why do they even let people watch the movie here if they cut sections out? I guess that I’ve heard of such things, but I think of censorship in the modern day as something that happens in China when people do Google searches. I didn’t know it would happen with a movie rental in India. Two scenes that I definitely noticed missing were the scenes where Heather Graham is feeding her baby, and the fight scene when Ken Jeong jumps out of the car trunk. Maybe there were more that I didn’t explicitly notice were missing.
Now, I only recall a few cases of censorships (to use that term very loosely) that I distinctly remember being angry about in America. That masterpiece set of books, His Dark Materials, by Phillip Pullman, is censored in America. The first book, The Northern Lights (edited to The Golden Compass in the US) has some scenes, deemed too ‘adult’ cut out in the American version. I think this really angers me because I haven’t read the real version.
Just like I still haven’t read all of the real Nancy Drew books. Did you know that the earlier books were all rewritten, starting in 1959? It is a pain in the butt to find the originals. There is a publisher, selling them for about $30 a pop, but check your book- if it has 20 chapters, it is a re-write. The originals had 25. I keep a detailed list of those books, so that each time I go to a garage sale I find the real ones. Not exactly censorship, but annoying.
Plus all the ‘Americanizing’ of the Harry Potter books really frustrates me, but I think it is common knowledge that it is done and easy enough to get the British copies. But it wasn’t exactly censorship; the majority of it was just changing ‘telly’ to ‘television’ and so on. As if part of the fun of reading Roald Dahl wasn’t the use of (to Americans) funny words. Apparently the American book industry thinks we’ve gotten dumber since Dahl and can’t handle the British English.
Oh, yeah. America also censors all of the Degrassi TV shows (A Canadian show), and won’t even show the episode where Manny gets an abortion.
Anyhow, censorship is annoying and controlling and upsets me. It should have, at the very least, made some statement how this is an incomplete version of the movie; parts deemed inappropriate for the Indian audience were removed. That way the public knows they are being cheated, at least. But it seems wrong and backhanded to not inform the public that they are getting a watered-down version of the movie.
The country is lately obsessed with editing the contents of the television. Now, at the bottom of TV episodes (which are already edited), a running marquee bar gives a number to call/email if you find the contents of the program inappropriate.
So after my anger watching the edited version of The Hangover, my husband and I went to watch The Hangover Part II at the fancy pants movie theatre.
The theatre is spectacular. The squashy purple chairs are exactly how Dumbledore would design movie chairs. They are big and comfy and even recline. The stadium seating is very good; no one ever blocks your vision. You can buy your seat in advance, so there is no reason to get there early to pick out the perfect seat before someone else takes it.
It was cheap, too. We bought the ‘normal’ seats, and it was only $5/person. The ‘special’ seats are just oversized versions of the ‘normal’ seats. They are located in the back two rows. But they were sold out, anyway.
Now, the only bad part of about watching a movie here is the soundtrack. It is stuck on super-duper, extra loud. I think next time I’ll bring earplugs and listen to it. I’m sure I could still hear just fine. After the movie my husband and I had to shout (no joke) just to hear each other.
Interestingly enough, before the movie, everyone is asked to stand and they put an image of the Indian flag on the screen and play the national anthem, just like we do at sporting events. I wonder why we don’t do that in the US? Everyone is very respectful during the anthem, too, not like the annoying Americans who no longer deem it necessary to remove their cap and shut up.
Anyhow, after the anthem and previews, the movie started. I immediately notice that Zach Galifianakis’s character has a copy of Jurassic Park in his room (my all time favorite). It is subtle, but my eyes are trained to recognize that font. Later, at the wedding, his character uses a Jurassic Park quote, “We spared no expense.” I’m fairly certain I was the only person in the room to catch that tiny tribute to Jurassic Park, but it made me quite happy to notice it.
What about censorship? Well, it is hard for me to tell, since I haven’t seen the real version. There was no nudity; the scenes where all of the male body parts are shown were all blurred. I’m guessing they weren’t blurred in the US. But how am I to tell? It isn’t as though that is exactly something I want to see, but it is how the movie creators want us to see it, so it just seems so wrong to chop it up and blur their movie vision.
Anyhow, another unique thing about movies in India is that they all have intermissions. Now, the only movie I had known to have an intermission was the Sound of Music, because all of the VHS copies I’ve ever owned still include it in the re-sale. But that movie is long, over three hours, right? It makes sense. But really, it made no sense to put an intermission in a movie that was significantly less than two hours long. Just disruptive and annoying. At the first movie we saw, I actually started giggling out loud when the intermission started. I really, really wonder if they do it with those 90 minute Disney movies.
The point of the intermission is, as far as I can tell, because of the vendors. Like a baseball game in the US, vendors come into the theatre and try to convince you to buy even more junk food than the food you bought already before the movie. Again, might make sense when the movie is over three hours long, but seems silly now. I didn’t see a single person use the vendors; although I did see a couple of people leave during intermission and come back with popcorn.
Anyhow, overall, we enjoy the movie-going experience, although after the movie you aren’t let back into the lobby (you have to exit the building directly) so maybe the intermission is good for bathroom breaks, at least. The movie theatre bathroom is a heck of a lot nicer than the bathroom outside of the theatre.
Was it censored? I guess I have to go back to the US to find out….
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